Café betrayal.

One day when I was home alone in my house my friends Karan and Susan asked if I would go to an internet café with them. There are many café here and it is a popular social scene with my friends. .

I went with them because I was lonely at home by myself. It's fun. Sometimes you make friend from around the world. I went to 50s chatroom because I want not immature but nice man. I found a friend Alex and spent my whole time talking. Alex says loves me very much. We have relationship that goes on weeks or months. We chat almost every day. He says he is planing to send me a computer. He offers to help me with dental work. He offers to find me a job, there in America, in maintenance or cleaning. Why I do not know, but I introduced him to my friends. They added him to their chat friend lists.

Several of my friends have b/f like this, who send little gifts or make promises. Sometimes help make life better here by send money. Little for them but make in little town in Misamis Oriental a lot. One of my friend is interested in him because she has heard about his help for me. Somehow she found a way to convince him to love and help her. What did she do? I am not so pretty, but I try and am sincere. She is not so pretty either. What does she do or say that I can not do? That I have done for him? My help from Alex stops. My heart stops. He does not want me any more or talk to me.

He cheated on me with her. She can afford to do that to me because she always under estimated and undervalued me as a friend. Why take from me? It is sad for me, because Alex was helping me with a little money. Little to him, but lifeline to me and girls. It is so hurtful for me when I see them talking at café because Alex and I had made promises. Like lovers make promises. No chance to break and fix, because all this happened in such a hurry. I feel my friend is a traitor me to me. I am betrayed. Silly to meet man on internet and fall in love and be depend on him for affection and even day to day needs. But I weep.

My children do not understand and do not know me. This betrayal and this loss made me weak and desperate, not just in my heart. I lost more weight.  I cannot eat. I lose 10kg (20lb), but, I think I can recover. Over 10 months I stop losing weight and stable.  Now, I thank God now because I found new b/f. I love him. Very much and I will care him and not to share with my friends. I hope he will understand me why i keep him to myself so. He tells me not to be silly but I am.  It is not pretend. I need it.