Friday, 29 April 2011

One time.. NOT forgotten...

One bright morning, June 28, 2010, when I woke up I felt so inspired and thankful for everything because it is my birthday and my kids surprised me by greeting me "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA"

That was very touching because they knew it was my birthday and they gave me flowers.

I went to the market and bought a live chicken, I killed and cooked and we ate. Fun! Well.. maybe not fun for Mr. Chicken, but for us something special for breakfast!  And I bought a one liter bottle of coca cola.  That's all I could do for treat to my kids, but they are happy and I am happy too.

Like so many years ago, I did not forget to go church and pray and light a candle. I prayed to give thanks for the things He has done for me and for my health. He gave me good health and He did not make me derelict or crippled. He gave me good and patient children and He understand our situation. I ask too more blessings to come in our life and tahnk for someone I have now - my b.f who is helping me much.

After I lit my candle I went home and continue at works in the home, then went off to work at the factory. My co-workers did not know it's my birthday but my friends and neighbors here they know and they great me too on my way by to go to the job. I don't have enough to treat to them but they understand. One of my friends, she treats me to a little snack with my other friends too. I thank her and am touched.

That was my all I have for my birthday last year.. but it was a good year, and I am so thankful. 

We see what happens for birthday in 2011!

Friday, 15 April 2011

Unforgetable... but parents forget.

One morning on June 28, 1982 it is my very wonderful day but it is wonderful for me only because no one else cares.

Its my Birthday. My parents were fighting because my papa got home at four a.m. from the bar. In the morning I am cooking rice and my mama went early to the village well to wash our clothes. That is why my brother, one year old, the youngest of us, cried when he can not see my mama close. I know that when my mama hears her crying boy she will shout at me, and say that I must take care my brother so that she can finish her washing.

While my mama is washing clothes I am sitting on the wood porch in front of her with my brother on my lap. I have finished cooking rice but we just can not eat yet because my mama has to finish the washing first.

When she's done, that is the time we can eat our breakfast. After eating I wash the dishes and go to my friend, ask her to go to church to light a candle. That is our tradition as Catholics.

When my mama cannot see me around, she shout and she want me to go home and spank and pinch me. Mama is so cruel to me, she said to me that I must be home every morning, I am not allowed to step outside or even go to church for a little prayer with my play mate. As Mom told me that I begged her please but she said no. She made me weep.

Afternoon 3 pm - almost all day wanting and waiting, the sun has almost set for my birthday, my friend Juditha and I go to church. I borrow 1 Peso money from her, so that i can buy candle, so Juditha, my best friend she pitied me for the cruelty of my mother and maybe for my the cruelty of my life, she handed me that one peso.

She said, "it is yours - don't pay me back that is only a little present for your very Special day", She greeted me and we hugged each other,  I didn't know why but that time my tears were falling down. When were in church I gave thanks that even the hardship I encounter everyday I am still have good health. Even my parents forget my birthday, it is ok for me. The important thing is that I am in good health.

When I get home from the church all is the same as usual.  I do my work at home and when the night comes no one remembers that it has been my Birthday. No one remembers the day I first see life and sun, that the day marks my 12 years of existing, of heartaches, and pains and being an older sister.

I don't have birthday party.

So now, years later, that is why when my kids have a birthday party even I don't have enough money I let them realize and know that I am their mom trying to make a living and trying to make their birthdays soo happy and special. As long as I can, I at least give them Hugs and kisses.

That is my unforgettable day. Since when I was young I have never had the experiencing of having a party on my birthday. At my age now I am happy and thanking GOD so much that I have experienced how to loved and am loved by the people around me. Thank you very much.

All I can give to my kids is my strongest affection and love. That's all, but they know I give it freely and remember what is special to them.

Wednesday, 6 April 2011


One night after we chat my b/f send me an email address of a store in Cagayan de Oro to find something sexy. So, the next day I went to the city to find the address but... I couldn't find it.  So, we went to the mall to buy some dress for my girls. A nice formal for Llana, and a costume for Pammi in dance class, and another little outfit. I realize Llana is a very pretty young woman and help her choose dress that is good for her look but conservative.

They both received awards at school and had presentations. Llana is second academic grade in her year. Pammi is also in top of class and is honors student. My b/f also gave me some money to buy gifts for my kids for school awards, so I think is ok with him.  Maybe he is disappointed I not find sexy thing he wanted. He is good hearted but from distance is hard to keep interest and satisfy like I want to.  Have Pammi and Llana with me in city so maybe not best trip to find that store.

Sadly, the ceremonies are both on the same day. Make for hard day. I got confused about who is first and went to the wrong school. I found my youngest, left her, went to see other daughter in high school, and came back to first school but the ceremony was over.  Her principal had given her honors ribbon. I was disappoint to miss it.  Now school is over for a few months.  No expenses until first week of May when enrollment and classes open.

Then I have to pay entrance and for notebooks, papers, ball point pens, bags, shoes, socks. More.

I hope my boyfriend helps. My salary at the factory is not enough for these needs. I hope he understands.


Dance class performs... new outfit!